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Simbaa

When do you move out of your parents' home permanently?

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Most people in society would say that you should have moved out of your parents' home permanently by your mid-late 20s. But how is this possible if you're graduating from law school with high five figures or six figure debt? The salary I make is barely enough to pay off my credit card and minimum student loans each month. How do you then afford rent or a downpayment on a house?

How did other people here make it work?

Edited by Simbaa

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I think it depends on which sector of society, for example, in a lot of Asian families, the children will stay with their parents until they get married. It'll probably be dependent on the relationship you have with your family/parents. Barring exceptional circumstances, if I were you, I would just stay with them until I pay of the debt--especially if they aren't charging you rent.

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I'm Indo-Canadian, it's the norm for us to live with our parents until we get married (unless you work somewhere other than where your parents live). My fiancee and I are both articling in the same city where our respective parents live, and we're both still living at home 'cause that's just how it is.

We're saving a shit ton of money, which will bring us very close to a down payment shortly after we get married next year. We'll rent a place to start, and be able to buy a place by the end of a one-year lease.

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Roommates / less than stellar housing, generally living frugally, no car or very crappy car (do own oil changes, all season tires, etc.). 

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I am East Asian.

It makes great economic sense to stay under one roof and share meals, boards, and transport. From a cultural perspective, the young takes care of the old. In my culture, it is callous and unfilial to abandon ones' aging parents to retiring homes (Even more so during COVID-19).

There is less "shame" that an adult child has not moved out. The days when a single parent could sustain a large family and pay off a mortgage are long gone.

I think a lot of us must face the reality of our run-away inflation housing market, stagnant wages, and increasing competition from overseas countries. All of which would impact the choices available and the economic circumstances at home.

It helps not to compare yourself to others too. We could not choose our life circumstances.

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I went to law school and now work in a different city than where my parents live, so it wasn't an option for me to live at home. 

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I see people saying they save tons of money living at home and this makes me curious. Do the people who live at home while working full time not contribute to mortgage/rent along with your parents? I understand during school people living at home probably wouldn't help out with that since they likely have little income, but once you start making income?

I'm currently articling and still live with my parents. I also now pay half the mortgage. I think I'd actually save money if I moved out and lived with roommates. If you're saving money by living with parents, is it because your parents have already paid off the mortgage?

 

 

Edited by Leviosaar

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18 minutes ago, Leviosaar said:

If you're saving money by living with parents, is it because your parents have already paid off the mortgage?

Not necessarily. Some parents wouldn't ever ask for their kids to pitch in an existing mortgage while others with paid off houses ask for their kids to pay rent. 

Edited by OnlyResident
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16 minutes ago, Leviosaar said:

Do the people who live at home while working full time not contribute to mortgage/rent along with your parents? I understand during school people living at home probably wouldn't help out with that since they likely have little income, but once you start making income?

In my culture, your parents support you financially as much as they can until you get married. The degree to which you're financially supported depends on your parents' means. If they can afford to let their kids live rent free, they will. 

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13 minutes ago, canuckfanatic said:

In my culture, your parents support you financially as much as they can until you get married. The degree to which you're financially supported depends on your parents' means. If they can afford to let their kids live rent free, they will. 

I’m actually from the same culture as you. Most of my friends from South Asia are also now contributing significantly to mortgage/rent. You’re probably right that it’s because my friends and I don’t come from well off families. I had assumed even those from wealthier families were probably contributing a decent amount if the mortgage wasnt already paid off, but what you say makes sense.

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I chose to stay living with family during undergrad, as they agreed I didn't have to contribute to rent costs as long as I was taking classes, and the same would apply if I stayed at home for law school. Except I can't stay at home for law school and it would be a terrible idea even if it was easily feasible. For my own sake, I'm going to be putting some miles between us once I can.

I'll be living with a roommate(s), and foregoing a car for as long as I can manage. I don't want kids so that'll be a future expense shaved off. The way I see it, the debt I'm incurring is being invested into myself instead of into a house, or stocks, or what have you. Once I pay the majority of my student loans off, I'll be more comfortable exploring other big-ticket options like a mortgage, and ideally my future earning potential ought to make that eventually possible.

Edited by lh22

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I'm South Asian as well so the norm is to stay with parents until you get married- especially if you're a girl. Although I've bought my own little townhouse, I still live with my parents so I wouldn't have to pay my own mortgage (Rented out property). It makes sense to not take on extra expenses if you don't have to and though I don't help with the mortgage, I try to pitch in for bills and insurance because it just sounds like the right thing to do. 

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I lived with my parents during undergrad, then moved out at 22. Theres no law school in the province where I'm from, but I would have moved out regardless. Some home environments just aren't helpful while in law school. I'd rather take on a bit more debt than drive both myself and my parents crazy. I find the independence really helpful when it comes to focusing on school. However, I'm lucky enough to attend law school in a city with cheap rent, and have relatively low debt. If I was a student in toronto and had parents there, I may have made a different choice due to the much higher cost. 

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I moved out of my parents' house to go to college when I was 19. I've lived on my own ever since. When you don't have any other choice, you make do where you can. Roommates. Car sharing. Public transit. Living frugally. Thrifting what you can. Food banks if necessary.

I'll also add that if you're living by yourself and are struggling to pay off student loans, you can ask for Repayment Assistance. I was making less than $2000 a month working full time between university and law school, and I didn't have to make any payments on my loans because of that.

Edited by RGoodfellow
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I lived in residence during my undergrad days (so I moved out at 18). I moved back with my parents during the last months of law school (when covid started) and would have been moving to a different city for my articling job, had the pandemic ended. However, since I am articling remotely, I am still living with them in order to save money and will likely be living at home with them until at least the Spring of 2021. 

Demographics-wise I am basically white and 30. While its not the 'norm' in my community, it seems like a lot of people I know are doing like me and living with their parents during articling because of CoVid.

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On 10/7/2020 at 4:33 PM, Simbaa said:

Most people in society would say that you should have moved out of your parents' home permanently by your mid-late 20s. But how is this possible if you're graduating from law school with high five figures or six figure debt? The salary I make is barely enough to pay off my credit card and minimum student loans each month. How do you then afford rent or a downpayment on a house?

How did other people here make it work?

Marriage is how I made it work.

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1 hour ago, Ptolemy said:

Marriage is how I made it work.

So... any fellow law hopefuls wanna get married for, like, the next five to seven years? I assure you that I'm unpleasant enough IRL that you won't want to stay longer than that, so no worries on getting attached to my incredible internet charm. 

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