Reflecting on my experience as an unsuccessful candidate of the 2L recruit

[cherrytree 271]

A preamble:

I applied to 40ish firms, got 10 OCIs, 3 in-firms (one with my top choice employer that I had my best OCI with, one with an employer that only invited me as a filler candidate to round out their schedule, and another employer that did not participate in OCIs). I did not progress much further with any of the in-firms, and my phone was silent on call day. After taking some time off in late November to rest and recuperate, I kept applying to summer opportunities and am happy to report that I recently landed a summer position in the practice area that I originally aimed for in the 2L recruit. Coming to the end of my 2L summer job search has prompted me to reflect on the lessons I learned over the past seven months, and I wrote this post in an effort to work through my personal thoughts and feelings. I hope that my post can be a small contribution to the great body of wisdom accumulated in this forum regarding the OCIs, the formal recruit process, and everything beyond.

1.     Know when to walk away from recruit-related chatter on lawstudents.ca and IRL

I find that at some point in this process that stretches from July to November, checking the forums for updates hits a point of diminishing returns, especially towards the end of OCIs. The summer months are a great time for digging up interesting and valuable posts from past years’ recruit cycles and absorb anything you find helpful. There are some cool tips and tricks about networking and coffee chats, which I think are especially relevant for that early stage of 1L summer when a lot of students are still unsure about the practice area(s) that best fit their interests and strengths.

However, as OCIs officially kick off and everyone’s “tunnel vision” begins to take over, refreshing the 2L recruit thread obsessively for minute-to-minute updates on ITCs/PFOs might only heighten your anxiety instead of providing meaningful information. This is especially important for in-firm week where the number of variables outside the candidates’ control increase dramatically. You might want to specifically create a space for yourself where you can do things unrelated to law that help to keep you feeling balanced and well-rested as much as possible. If you are naturally more introverted and the highly interactive, conversational nature of the recruit process is already a challenge to your stamina, know that you are not being selfish or rude by insulating yourself from environments (e.g. the law school building) and social interactions that drain your energy. People who truly care about you and your well-being are going to understand.

2.    Know yourself and know the employers

There is a place and a time for putting yourself entirely in the interviewer’s/employer’s shoes, such as puzzling out exactly why one employer is interested in knowing your five to ten year plan, and another one wants to know how you deal with micromanaging bosses, difficult personalities and conflicts, and still a third one just wants to hear more about the kind of music you enjoy. You get only 17 minutes in that black curtained booth that lacks any soundproofing whatsoever, and you must be thoughtful in how you want to maximize the utility of those minutes. Your CDO can help you get started on figuring out those questions. But, there are more places and more times where it’s more important to put yourself firmly and properly in your own shoes.

One of my favourite things about being a law student is that this profession/industry is very much centered around mentoring, having meaningful conversations and building relationships. As such, like most of my peers, leading up to OCIs, I received loads of earnest and well-meaning advice from upper years, articling students and recently called associates. There is such a thing as too much good intentions, especially when it comes to entirely subjective (and, in hindsight, completely inane) matters related to the recruit. Most of the advice you will get are going to come from people who barely know you as a person, and from their perspective, you are likely just one of a dozen students seeking that holy grail secret to unlock success in this overwhelmingly competitive process. The advice you receive from the successful students is probably the same thing they’ve already repeated to numerous others, which is not to say the advice is unhelpful, but it is certainly not likely going to be tailored to you as an individual. This is where you have to do the work the rest of the way, filter out and keep in mind only the parts that make sense for you.

For example, most people probably would not disagree that scheduling your top-choice employer as early in the day as possible is an effective way of signalling interest, but if being a functional, engaging, vibrant human being at the ass crack of the morning that is 8AM is just not you, then just go with the 10AM slot. I wish that's what I did, instead of showing my top-choice firm, the only one that sent me an ITC, a fairly underwhelming and unfocused version of myself instead of my best self at 8AM. You have been a full, fleshed-out human being with your idiosyncrasies and specific habits formed over years of your life before you are an OCI candidate, so remember to give yourself some credit for that. It’s too late to shave the square peg to make it fit a round hole, and doing so is not a sure-fire way to success anyways.

3.    Know that the playing field is not level

There is a painfully long laundry list of things that may, and probably will, make you question whether you belong here. That sinking feeling of not feeling like you belong may permeate for just a moment, or it may stay with you for a while. It may happen at any point in the process, regardless of whether you find a job offer at the end of it or not. Maybe you are a first-generation law student listening in on lawyers talking about polo or hockey or some other crazy expensive niche activity in which only rich upper-class men and women are well-versed. Maybe you’ve had a career or other accomplishments prior to pursuing law, and you are really trying to go in a different direction now, but for some reason everybody interviewing you is still specifically fixated on it and they don’t seem interested when you try to give forward-looking answers about that new direction. Maybe you didn’t grow up using forks and knives, or you don’t like to drink, or you don’t like the food that you didn’t order served at the restaurant you didn’t pick, and this whole dinner-as-interview setup just never made sense to you. Maybe this whole arbitrary selection process just leaves you feeling deflated, confused and boxed-in and you can’t even pinpoint exactly why.

At the end of the day, there is no denying that certain people, with certain types of personalities, with certain kinds of backgrounds and experiences will find this process easier to navigate than others. No two people will emerge from the OCI process having the exact same feelings and insights on what they nailed, and what they should have done better or differently. I am 100% in the category that doesn’t jam with the OCIs or formal recruit process, no matter how much my carefully crafted resume and cover letter may convince people otherwise. Throughout the formal recruit process, my biggest fear is always that firms have preconceived notions of who I am supposed to be based on my application materials. There is an ideal picture painted based on tidbits of my life, from my name to my hobbies, that I must strive to fit in order to move forward in the process. But this fear is not worth “performing” who I am, and I don’t think that’s what the firms have in mind either. The recruit process does not offer a level playing field, but I think that’s also because it is not a race, certainly not one where it makes sense to attach your self-worth to the outcomes.

4.    Know that this does not change you

The formal recruit is an incredibly taxing process that takes a lot of time and effort, with no promise of success. The good news is, the morning after the day when everything is all over, everyone is going to wake up and is going to be the same person, whether they received calls or not. The formal recruit process is not the kind of earth-shattering event that forever changes who someone is. It does influence short-term feelings and judgments; but eventually, the ecstasies and letdowns will subside.

There will be new challenges, worries, doubts and accomplishments that come our way as we continue down the paths of our legal careers, no such thing as a one-and-done to make happiness come easy. As hard as it is to do in the moment, try to see past the moment, and search for the longer-term view of your hopes and aspirations for becoming a happier, more fulfilled person who practices law, not just a lawyer.

5.    Above all: be kind to yourself!

Look, I know that “it will work out in the end” is a common phrase of consolation. You hear that a lot during the formal recruit. But the reality is sometimes things just don’t work out, no matter how much you wish they would, and doing everything you can to set yourself up for success still doesn’t guarantee success, and optimism that feels false doesn't help much at all. There will be so many other failures and disappointments later in life, and some of them don’t come with a nicely planned itinerary, they just show up and you have to deal with them. Striking out of the 2L recruit, in comparison, might just be a well-timed reality check that ultimately clues you in on what you really want outside the traditionally popular career options known to law students. The phone may or may not ring at 5pm on call day, but you are still you, with all the things that you have already conquered and excelled in, with all the things that you want out of a legal career still very much within reach. There are more than enough opportunities coming later in law school, later in your career, and you have more than enough time to give yourself a break and come back to figure it out for yourself. 

I will end this post with a line from the poem "The Well Dressed Man With A Beard" by Wallace Stevens, which I have copied on the margins of my notebook to keep myself motivated in grinding through the post-OCIs job applications: "After the final no there comes a yes / And on that yes the future world depends."

Whether you are a 2L still looking for a summer job, or a 1L feeling scared and unsure about this coming recruit cycle, I wish you all the best of luck, and hope that my post has helped in some small way. Cheers!

[NovemberRain 27]

An especially poignant post, just ahead of my 1L interview this coming week. And no matter what may happen Tuesday,  I will remember that "after the final no there comes a yes".  Thank you for this @cherrytree

[easttowest 1624]

1 hour ago, NovemberRain said:

An especially poignant post, just ahead of my 1L interview this coming week. And no matter what may happen Tuesday,  I will remember that "after the final no there comes a yes".  Thank you for this @cherrytree

I hope it goes well, but if it doesn’t you’ll be very ready for 2L. I was unsuccessful in 1L but way more prepared for my 2L in-firms with a better idea of what I was walking into. 

Good luck!

[cherrytree 271]

forgot to tack this on at the end of the post yesterday but, my inbox is open to anyone who wants to talk about formal/informal recruit related woes. i will try my best to listen and help!

[baskinpalsam 14]

Great post - this really sums up what striking out in the 1L and 2L recruits taught me. Especially your point about accepting that the playing field isn’t level - it can be hard to know the line between the arbitrariness of recruits and putting your best self forward come interview time, as hard as it may be. For me, it just meant that I had two rounds of learning that line so I could be successful in the articling recruit and land the big firm of dreams. Funny enough, one I had completely written off before and didn’t apply to because I didn’t think I was good enough. 

Whatever happens, know that it serves a purpose and is there to better you, as hard and cheesy as that is. I know I wouldn’t be remotely near where I am today had I ended up with a 1L job. 

[chaboywb 755]

With all the OCI questions that have popped up in the last week, I think this thread deserves a bump! Great points by OP.

[cherrytree 271]

It's been about 11 months since I wrote this post, and I thought it would be worthwhile to write an addendum addressing the unique challenges of going through the recruit in this cycle. Ontario’s stay-at-home order will likely still be in effect by the time the Toronto OCIs happen over the week of February 16. Needless to say, while you won’t be distracted by loud conversations happening on the other end of the non-soundproof black curtains in a big conference room or thinking about table banners during in-firm interviews, going through the 2L recruit on a remote basis brings with it certain distractions and challenges that, quite frankly, no one will know until they experience it. 

Having gone through the recruit back in Fall 2019, I won’t pretend to be an expert of remote interviewing or how to set up the perfect virtual background or how to project your voice/expressions to most effectively build up interpersonal connections with your interviewers over the Internet. I hope your career offices and any upper year students who participated in the Fall 2020 articling recruit that you know would be much better sources for giving you answers to those questions. Nevertheless, I hope this post will be helpful for some of you to read as you prepare for the OCIs and the not-in-firm-but-in-firm interviews. None of these points will be revolutionary or shocking to you as you read this post, but I still think it helps to hear them from someone else.
 

1. Keeping sane and maintaining mental fortitude in isolation and radio silence

One thing that I remember vividly from my own experience with the recruit is how time crawls so slowly when you are waiting for a callback from an employer, waiting to be told one way or another if you will be proceeding to the next stage of the process, and even when business hours are long passed, still waiting for sleep to take over your consciousness so you can stop the anxious or compulsive thoughts from gnawing at you. As we continue to be inside our homes while case numbers climb up in Toronto, I know that there are way less options for distractions available to you to help manage the anxiety of “the wait” and speculating or second-guessing whether an employer liked you better than the other candidate(s) enough to put you over the cutoff. 

My advice is to plan early. Do you like puzzles and board games? Good, find a bunch of good ones that you can either get online or physical copies of. If it is at all possible for you to assemble a group of friends either online or in-person to play together when you have big gaps in your schedule during interview days, plan ahead for that. Not being alone will help immensely both for making time pass more quickly and for talking out of any irrational, panicky thoughts you may have about “firm X did/said this, but what does that mean?” type of questions. If you don’t like puzzles or board games (to which I personally cannot relate), exercising either indoors or outside where you can get some fresh air would be good. Again, try not to do these activities alone if you can help it. 

Fighting off anxious, intrusive, irrational, panicky thoughts will be easier said than done. When I was a 2L interviewee I thought I was calm and level-headed enough to manage my emotional state relatively well, but I definitely still had a rough time with it. Don’t overestimate yourself in this regard and certainly don’t be too hard on yourself. If you feel like a good cry is what you need, let the stress hormones flow out from your tears, and then go eat something comforting, energizing, and delicious. Do not isolate yourself from your peers any more than everybody already is due to the pandemic. Yes, everyone participating in the recruit is vying for the same jobs as you are, but who else is better positioned to understand what you are going through? Reach out, start conversations, and keep each other company with good thoughts and positive support if you have the capacity to do so. Be a good neighbour, by which I mean, try not to be an added source of anxiety and stress to your fellow recruit participants if you are going to interact with them, if you can help yourself.

2. Improve your application and sharpen your skills but there may just be nothing wrong with you, really

Between now and Call Day, you will likely ask for and receive loads of well-meaning advice, whether solicited or not. I’m re-emphasizing here the point I made in part 2 of my original post: most of the advice you get will not be tailored to you as an individual. Advice you receive from people who have succeeded in this system for hiring and recruitment as early as 1L or 2L will likely be advice that best serves candidates who are like them. Believe it or not, there are certain students who would be sought after like hotcakes by Bay St firms just by “being themselves”, and there are certain students for whom the recruit will inevitably be a frustrating and uneasy experience, even when nothing in particular is going wrong. I doubt the latter will gain much insight from upper year students or lawyers who belong to the former category. 

On an anonymous forum like LS.ca, the completely generalized nature of advice-giving would be even more prominent. Prepare yourself as best as you can based on what you know about yourself and play to your strengths and guard against your weaknesses. Go to mock interviews with your careers office and upper years, but as with everything you read/hear in law school, evaluate the feedback you receive from those sources objectively and critically. If the feedback aligns with what you already know is a potential issue with your candidacy, follow it. If it doesn’t feel right for you, then trust your gut. It would be difficult to project confidence when you talk to the interviewers if you don’t convey a decent level of self-assuredness and self-awareness during the interviews. 

3. If you strike out: this too shall pass

If you don’t want to be fatalistic about it at this time, feel free to come back and read this part if your phone remains silent at 5pm on Call Day in March. I hope many/most of you will not need to read this part because you will have received an offer from your top choice employer and will be celebrating with your loved ones.

But, if you don’t get a job out of this process, I hope you take the time to feel your feelings and let them out. Give yourself a proper break, celebrate the hard work you’ve done to pull yourself through the recruit regardless. There are tons of good threads in Careers Services from past years written by people who were in the same position seeking advice, and they were given good advice. Of course, some of it will not be directly applicable due to the times we are currently living in. But still, I encourage you to do a deep dive (protip: the Google site-specific search works way better than the forum’s own search page) and read some of those older posts when you feel ready for it. I don’t know if that will necessarily help you feel more cheery, but I hope it will help to take away some of the self-blame you will inevitably feel. The future is scary and uncertain and undoubtedly even more so in this cycle, compared to previous years; what remains true, however, is the necessity to accept what you cannot change and make actionable plans to effectuate what you can do to find a position outside the structured recruit. Recognize that those efforts may well still be moot due to circumstances you cannot change, but make those actionable plans and follow through with your actions, anyways. Do it because you owe it to yourself not to give up halfway through your law school journey. 
 

If you've made it this far on this too-long post, I wish you the best of luck with the recruit process. I hope you will be okay and I hope you too will reflect on your experiences, learn something from it, and pass down what you learned to future generations of students going through this process. Take care and be well!

[easttowest 1624]

My best advice is not to get too high or too low through the process. A great interview can lead to no call and the strangest, driest 17 minutes of your life can lead to a firm calling you exactly at 8:00am on call day. Try to keep an even keel, don’t read too much into things like not receiving a response to your thank email, and keep smiling and moving forward. 

If a firm doesn’t call you for an in-firm, forget them! Focus on the firms who did and move on. 

It’s a weird, exhausting few weeks, but like all things it will end. 

Good luck.