Jump to content
LawGuy1995

Depression over leaving school?

Recommended Posts

20 hours ago, LawGuy1995 said:

It’s not about learning, it’s about how good life was. Yes I loved the academic stimulation but I also loved that all of my friends were very close and also had no responsibilities, I loved that I could nap in the middle of the day if I wanted. I just think having so much free time and so little responsibility was incredibly wonderful. 

You're not mourning the loss of going to school, you're mourning the loss of a particular stage of your life -- going from a student within a sheltered environment to being an adult in the big bad world.

It's fine to be sad about it. But what is more important is to not let nostalgia get in the way of your future. You still have more tomorrows than yesterdays. Be thankful for that and excited for what lies ahead.

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I continued to have those feelings eight years after graduating and signed up to take an online business course through a local college. The itch was scratched and I no longer romanticize school (for now....) 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You guys just depressed the shit out of me.

  • Like 2
  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On ‎8‎/‎29‎/‎2019 at 12:02 PM, LawGuy1995 said:

Does anyone else feel extremely depressed at the thought of never going back to school? Now that people are returning to campus and I’m stuck articling I feel really sad and anxious about my future. I absolutely loved being a student and having all of my friends so close by. The thought of working every day and getting into a monotonous routine really freaks me out. Not looking for sympathy because I have a great job and I’m lucky to be where I am. Just wondering if others feel similarly?

This feeling will only continue to persist as you get further separated from school. As a millennial, I truly feel for the challenges that will be facing the next generations. As it stands now, school (and the debt associated with it) is one of the two largest contributors to millennials being crushed and set up for economic misery (housing being the other). And the alternative (not going to school at all) is not any better in present day.   

But of course for those who were supported through school by the bank of mom and dad, I'm sure they would feel depressed at the thought of never going back (not saying this is you!).  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

September and autumn always bring me a rush of nostalgia for past experiences. It's not necessarily about school - although that seems to be a large part of it. I think September brings people back to times in their lives where things were simple; happiness wasn't something to strive for but was rather always present. I'm a weirdly nostalgic person, though. Now I'm thinking of Stand by Me: "I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was 12. Jesus, does anyone?" Damn, I'm spiraling into a black hole of nostalgia.

I guess that was all just to say perhaps you're experiencing a similar sense of nostalgia connected to a myriad of past experiences that you won't be able to have again, not just mourning the death of attending school.

Edited by TdK

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)
7 hours ago, KingLouis said:

There are good things to look forward to, but they won't be as good as the things that have passed. No different than Gatsby staring at the distant, blinking light. 

Yikes. I already have this fear and this thread has certainly not helped it.

I'm trying to just be thankful that I had such an amazing school experience because lots of people don't. I'm going to miss the coddling, freedom, and support that school provided but I'm trying to think of all of the joys of life that have yet to come. Hopefully I'll get married one day, have kids, and feel just as fulfilled and happy from that as I did from school. I'm not sure if that is something you're also interested in, but if so, look forward to that! 

Edited by CoffeeandLaw

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
34 minutes ago, TdK said:

I think September brings people back to times in their lives where things were simple; happiness wasn't something to strive for but was rather always present. 

This is exactly it. I used to be happy as a baseline with the occasional stress or upset. Now my baseline is just feeling average and I’m in search of happiness which is very hard with my articling hours. 

 

Glad im not alone but this thread has made my fear so much worse knowing it doesn’t get better.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I always do feel a bit of nostalgia when the days get rough. But I think in terms of best/worst when deciding which thing was/is more stressful.

School: best that can happen is I get good grades and get the job I've always dreamed of; worst is that I fail and my career does not materialise and I have to figure something out to pay off my debt.

Working: best is that I do what I wanted to do (practice area) and feel fulfilled helping people through their legal issues; worst is I get fired and get another job.

When I think of which one is easier, definitely school was. But when I think about going back to school... no thanks. I like being a lawyer and I love the firm I'm at.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 minutes ago, goalie said:

School: best that can happen is I get good grades and get the job I've always dreamed of; worst is that I fail and my career does not materialise and I have to figure something out to pay off my debt.

I guess that’s maybe where we differ. I never saw school as a means to an end. I saw it as an amazing lifestyle that I was blessed with. Now that it’s gone I don’t feel fulfilled by my job because it’s not really why I went to school. I went to school because I loved it there. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't worry OP.  Your depression over leaving school will soon be eclipsed over your depression from the realities of legal practice.  

  • Like 1
  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 minutes ago, utmguy said:

Don't worry OP.  Your depression over leaving school will soon be eclipsed over your depression from the realities of legal practice.  

I get that you're trying to be funny but sounds like OP (and others on this thread - including myself) are having a tough time and I don't think that's very helpful to say right now. 

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, CoffeeandLaw said:

I get that you're trying to be funny but sounds like OP (and others on this thread - including myself) are having a tough time and I don't think that's very helpful to say right now. 

Lol I swear this happens once a week on here. Someone has a bona fide problem. Someone else ups the ante somehow. 

- find undergrad tough? Wait until law school. 

- find law school tough? Wait until practice.

- find articling tough? Wait until you're an associate.

- find being an associate tough? Wait until you have a kid while being an associate. 

P.s., articling is OK compared to school. The TTC? Fuck that.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, LawGuy1995 said:

I guess that’s maybe where we differ. I never saw school as a means to an end. I saw it as an amazing lifestyle that I was blessed with. Now that it’s gone I don’t feel fulfilled by my job because it’s not really why I went to school. I went to school because I loved it there. 

This is how I feel, too. I took a few years between high school and university, then another between university and law, and definitely what drove me to pursue both was overwhelmingly my love for being in school. God I love school. I've always said that if I could get away with going to school for the rest of my life then I would.

I'm hoping that actual practice will keep me on my toes enough that I won't feel that nostalgia for a long while.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 minutes ago, grishamlaw said:

The TTC? Fuck that.

Fuck the TTC? Wait until you move to Port Credit or something and you're ready to fuck the GO train. 

  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 hours ago, CoffeeandLaw said:

I get that you're trying to be funny but sounds like OP (and others on this thread - including myself) are having a tough time and I don't think that's very helpful to say right now. 

Let me give a nuanced answer to this. The other post was short only because I was so busy. If people are really feeling this, the only thing that's going to help is knowing that other people feel the same way and struggle through this shit each day.

When you're in law school and you have a trajectory toward something, you're blind to the reality that when you get into the adult world you're going to lose control over everything. Traditional mid-life crises happen when people buy into something and lose their identity and know that something's gone wrong and it can't be fixed. That's a feeling most people completely avoided up 'til the point of being handed their JD. Aside from people who are truly depressed, the OCI and grade stuff will take on realistic dimensions as problems that can easily be solved. The problem of losing your naivete and having to work to feed yourself and eventually dying isn't something that you can slough off by going for a long walk. 

You can't return to childhood. The next stage of life is struggling to gain perspective and finding some way to enjoy the struggle. The temporary relief of a new relationship or a promotion or having kids will have to be integrated into that narrative. But those things are temporary. 

Surround yourself with people who can understand you. Do your best each day to maintain perspective. If you believe in something, fight for it. Then you'll be fine. But it won't be like it was. 

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, KingLouis said:

Let me give a nuanced answer to this. The other post was short only because I was so busy. If people are really feeling this, the only thing that's going to help is knowing that other people feel the same way and struggle through this shit each day.

When you're in law school and you have a trajectory toward something, you're blind to the reality that when you get into the adult world you're going to lose control over everything. Traditional mid-life crises happen when people buy into something and lose their identity and know that something's gone wrong and it can't be fixed. That's a feeling most people completely avoided up 'til the point of being handed their JD. Aside from people who are truly depressed, the OCI and grade stuff will take on realistic dimensions as problems that can easily be solved. The problem of losing your naivete and having to work to feed yourself and eventually dying isn't something that you can slough off by going for a long walk. 

You can't return to childhood. The next stage of life is struggling to gain perspective and finding some way to enjoy the struggle. The temporary relief of a new relationship or a promotion or having kids will have to be integrated into that narrative. But those things are temporary. 

Surround yourself with people who can understand you. Do your best each day to maintain perspective. If you believe in something, fight for it. Then you'll be fine. But it won't be like it was. 

Going for a long walk is literally the best anecdote to existential dread. Spend a week in the mountains and tell me you’re still staring into the abyss. Sit by a pond, contemplate the fish, eat good fruit, stare at the sky. It’s so cliche that it’s hard to take seriously, but we’re supposed to realize that joy comes from small things because it’s true, not because it’s the consolation prize to no longer being a teenager. As we age and lose the time to smell the roses, we simultaneously grow more capable of holding onto that feeling without constant exposure. Young children need to be fulfilling their exact desires a great percentage of their time to maintain happiness during the down hours - maturity is leaving that neediness behind. 

And control was always an illusion. People die young. Parents die young. Every polisci student I ever met thought they’d work at the UN. People get pregnant at 19 and everything changes. Etc etc. Another part of maturing is acknowledging it was an illusion, that you control only your own actions and that this fact is actually reassuring - it means you can do quite a bit, and what you can’t do generally shouldn’t be cause for distress.

I couldn’t disagree more - childhood is a skin happily shed. Being taken care of because it’s necessary lest you totally fail is much less satisfying than taking care of yourself. If you want to get hokey about it, being taken care of by someone you take care of, entirely voluntarily, is an even higher satisfaction. 

Building a shelf is more fun than being given one. Building a life is more fun than being handed one.

It won’t ever be like it was. Amen.

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Diplock said:

I don't know why you got into the legal profession. I don't know why you went to law school. But I know that all of the most positive and motivated legal professional that I know went to law school because they wanted to do something. We don't all want to do the same things. But we want what we do to matter. We want to affect the world and to know at the end of the day that what we did had a consequence. I've offered a version of this same view in threads where students ask whether they should go to law school and what characteristics make for a good lawyer. One of the key aspects of that is "wanting the ball." If you find yourself seeking out responsibility, if you are energized and motivated by knowing that people are counting on you, if you want to be the person that others are relying on, then that's a good character trait to bring into all forms of legal practice. If you find yourself ducking those moments and those opportunities ... that's something to worry about.

You moot, which for some students is enjoyable but for me I just can't get over how ridiculous it is to play pretend at being a lawyer. If someone does it because they are anxious to get at the closest approximation available of the real thing, I can understand that. If someone tells me they'd rather continue playing pretend rather than do it in the real world ... I don't even know what to say to that. 

I'm not sure you got the point of the thread. Seemed like someone had a confusing emotion and just wanted to share. I can't criticize how people feel, but I certainly agree that you have more control over how you react. 

With that being said, the quoted section above really resonates with me.

This thread confused me at first. I didn't feel like OP was ill-suited to law or immature, I felt like OP might be missing out. I go out of my way to do the maximum the LSO will allow an articling student. That's not because I have some character trait that looks good in a job interview. It's because being in the action is so much more fun.  

It reminds me of playing poker online for fake money versus playing a cash game with your friends. You may lose but you also get to win sometimes, and that feels a lot better when something's on the line. If you a won a mooting trophy, then good for you. But getting a real win, even in a small claims matter, feels a lot better (you just improved someone's life in a very real way!). 

I don't think you have to be born "wanting the ball". Sometimes, you just have to remember you don't always drop the ball. Sometimes something good happens. Those are the moments I'm living for. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, Diplock said:

I have to believe you went to law school for some good reason at some point. Whatever it was, you've lost it and you need to find it again. 

I think this is exactly my problem. I went to law school because both of my parents are lawyers and it just seemed like the natural path for me. I never even contemplated doing anything else. But I also never really contemplated being a lawyer. I just knew I wanted to go to a school with bright fun people. And I loved the shit out of that. But now I’m done and I’m lost with no clue what I want. 

 

I completely recognize this is one is one of the most privileged problems to have but it has manifested itself into terrible depression and anxiety which I need to fix. I think this thread has taught me that while most people are nostalgic and sad about school ending I might have something more serious going on and I think I need to seek professional help. 

Edited by LawGuy1995
  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, LawGuy1995 said:

I think this is exactly my problem. I went to law school because both of my parents are lawyers and it just seemed like the natural path for me. I never even contemplated doing anything else. But I also never really contemplated being a lawyer. I just knew I wanted to go to a school with bright fun people. And I loved the shit out of that. But now I’m done and I’m lost with no clue what I want. 

 

I completely recognize this is one is one of the most privileged problems to have but it has manifested itself into terrible depression and anxiety which I need to fix. I think this thread has taught me that while most people are nostalgic and sad about school ending I might have something more serious going on and I think I need to seek professional help. 

You know better than anyone how serious a problem you have, and so if you believe you're at the point where you need professional help, then absolutely seek it. Don't rely on an Internet message forum in lieu of that. I maybe didn't know just how well I was hitting the right point, but if I did and if you need help dealing, then get help.

All I want to add, right now, is that one of the common traits of these sorts of situations is that you box yourself into a situation where it seems like you don't actually have any choices when in fact you do. It's just that making those choices and changing the condition that's making you miserable seems impossible. I've been there at least once in my life, though not in relation to my career. It can happen to anyone.

Based on what you've said, it sounds to me like you have a lot of options in life. You don't need to take the job you've lined up for yourself, despite the fact that it is objectively a "good" job. You could do something else. You don't need to practice law at all if you don't want to. You probably need to do something with your life (we all do) but you're lucky in that you have a vast range of choices available to you. Right now, you may feel like you've eliminated all of those options. But you really haven't.

Get more qualified help. But remember the above, also.

Edited by Diplock
  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.



×
×
  • Create New...