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Hi

 

About a month and a half ago, I took charge of my life. I dropped out of a graduate program I hated and actively began working towards my dream of studying law. I did not quit, I made a choice about how I wanted to spend my life. I am currently studying for the LSAT exam.

 

My parents have been giving me absolute hell since I did this. They keep talking down to me, and demotivating me,  just because they cannot stand that I do not want to pursue the career of their choice (they really pushed me to enter the program I did). Every time we interact we fight. I cannot afford to move out, yet. I am working a job I absolutely despise to save for law school. I want to quit. I took a leave of absence until September to study for the LSAT. I really need a lot of time to study. 

 

During my undergrad, I have had a lot of mental health issues because of my home environment. And I would leave, but I cannot afford to, financially. I pay for my own food, study materials etc. myself, which is fine. I just didn't expect their reaction, I thought they would be way more supportive of my dreams/happiness. 

 

I just feel like I am decaying mentally and don't really know who to turn to. I really want to do well on the LSAT, pursue my lifelong dream of studying law, move to a new city, and restart. I figured, it's one more year, but every day it gets harder and harder to keep myself motivated, out of bed, focused, and I just don't know what to do anymore :(

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Talk to a therapist would be my suggestion; affordability might be an issue...IDK to be honest. But keep working hard on the LSAT prep. Hold onto the job as long as you need to. I'm taking everything you said about your parents at face value, and so, no disrespect to your parents, but fuck them.

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I agree, if you can, talk to a therapist. 

From my own perspective, as someone who has dealt with both a shitty family situation and a shitty job (but not at the same time): You have to fight. Life might be garbage right now but you have to hold on to what you're working toward. Hang on to your hope in a better future and whenever something awful happens at home or at work remind yourself that soon you'll be out of there. Hold on yo your hope that you'll get a good LSAT score and you'll get into law school and things will be better soon.

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I'm sorry you're going through that. Like other people have said talking to a therapist could be a good option but affordability might be an issue, so I want to also suggest talking to your family doctor if you have a good relationship with him/her. You could talk to them kind of as counselling maybe (some family drs do that) or they might have a social worker who works in their office who you could talk to as counselling covered by ohip, or they could refer you to community resources for counselling. the social worker in their office might also be able to help you plan moving out etc.

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Very bad things have happened to me in my life, so bad that they are for the most part beyond belief. These happened as I applied to and got into law school. The key is to enjoy the struggle of life, to enjoy the pain and difficulty, because it makes the reward at the end of it all the more worthwhile. And even if there is no reward, another key is to find joy in the simple things. Close your eyes and meditate. Believe it or not even this ability was taken away from me for a period...but anyway, to sum it up, enjoy the struggle, enjoy the reward, and enjoy life.

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I empathize with the OP. It's a difficult situation because you're probably 7 months away from even knowing if you've been admitted to a school. 

You have to get out of your parents' house. If you're working to save for law school, set aside that plan. You're much better off using that money to rent a room or a small apartment and be on your own. Look for the most immediate and pressing problem; solve that first. You can worry about paying for law school in 4 years once you've graduated. 

If you're working an office job and making close to minimum wage, think about doing something where you can be outdoors. Mindless general labour is so good for clearing your head. If you can work as part of a crew, you'll be amazed how that transports you from your problems. You don't need to be stuck in a library or your bedroom for the next 3 months studying for the LSAT. That would be a big mistake. 

Life is difficult and painful. More difficult and painful for some than others. If you can get to the point where you can laugh at and enjoy the absurdity and unfairness, you've--to an extent--won. It's a very rare place to be, though. I know you're living in the whirlwind of a crisis, and I've been there too. Do whatever it takes to get out of your head and stop spinning your wheels. That's the only good advice I can give. 

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Thank you for your advice!

 

I see a therapist once every other month, it’s all my insurance covers. 

 

I’m also going to look into getting another job, I work a lot of unpaid overtime, and given how little I make and how much I work I can’t afford to do anything now. 

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Yeah it sounds like your situation with your parents is untenable. I’d prioritize getting out of that before you do anything else. You won’t be able to put your full focus and effort into studying for the LSAT or, if you get into law school and find yourself still unable to move out, focusing on your courses. 

Law school will always be there. It’s okay to put a hold on that while you improve your living situation and mental health. 

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On 6/30/2019 at 8:23 PM, Lawstudentdreamz said:

Hi

 

About a month and a half ago, I took charge of my life. I dropped out of a graduate program I hated and actively began working towards my dream of studying law. I did not quit, I made a choice about how I wanted to spend my life. I am currently studying for the LSAT exam.

 

My parents have been giving me absolute hell since I did this. They keep talking down to me, and demotivating me,  just because they cannot stand that I do not want to pursue the career of their choice (they really pushed me to enter the program I did). Every time we interact we fight. I cannot afford to move out, yet. I am working a job I absolutely despise to save for law school. I want to quit. I took a leave of absence until September to study for the LSAT. I really need a lot of time to study. 

 

During my undergrad, I have had a lot of mental health issues because of my home environment. And I would leave, but I cannot afford to, financially. I pay for my own food, study materials etc. myself, which is fine. I just didn't expect their reaction, I thought they would be way more supportive of my dreams/happiness. 

 

I just feel like I am decaying mentally and don't really know who to turn to. I really want to do well on the LSAT, pursue my lifelong dream of studying law, move to a new city, and restart. I figured, it's one more year, but every day it gets harder and harder to keep myself motivated, out of bed, focused, and I just don't know what to do anymore :(

what is your GPA, L2 and B2?

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2 hours ago, Luckycharm said:

what is your GPA, L2 and B2?

Cgpa is 3.71

If you mean my best 2 years, it is 3.74 (on 4.0)

I had 2 'low' semesters, mostly because of my first (I was unwell) and another where the prof, who taught 2 of my courses, was, uh, not willing to give anyone above Bs, and I'll just leave it at that. I finished my degree though!

 

@ryn thank you, what I do is I go to the library every day to get away and escape. I cannot stand being home. I have a strong feeling writing the LSAT, and a work week with normal hours (i.e. finding a new job), as soon as I can would be my ticket out. 

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1 hour ago, Lawstudentdreamz said:

Cgpa is 3.71

If you mean my best 2 years, it is 3.74 (on 4.0)

I had 2 'low' semesters, mostly because of my first (I was unwell) and another where the prof, who taught 2 of my courses, was, uh, not willing to give anyone above Bs, and I'll just leave it at that. I finished my degree though!

 

@ryn thank you, what I do is I go to the library every day to get away and escape. I cannot stand being home. I have a strong feeling writing the LSAT, and a work week with normal hours (i.e. finding a new job), as soon as I can would be my ticket out. 

160+ will get you in many schools.

 

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On 7/6/2019 at 9:49 PM, Luckycharm said:

what is your GPA, L2 and B2?

I know you are trying to be helpful, but that is the last thing this person needs. 

I am not an expert by any means, but the OP sounds like they have some mental health issues that need to be addressed. They need to learn to set boundaries and not have their parents enmeshed in their lives. Easier said then done. 
 

The added worry about grades and their chances of getting accepted into law school should be down on the list of priorities. 

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On 7/3/2019 at 8:19 AM, Lawstudentdreamz said:

Thank you for your advice!

 

I see a therapist once every other month, it’s all my insurance covers. 

 

I’m also going to look into getting another job, I work a lot of unpaid overtime, and given how little I make and how much I work I can’t afford to do anything now. 

First: if seeing a medical professional (i.e. covered by healthcare) as well as a therapist is appropriate, please do so! You mention having had mental health issues, that's a very broad term.

Second: is there anyone (who you trust not to blab to your parents) that you can talk to who you expect would be sympathetic to you in addition to your therapist once a month, a family member who knows what your parents are like, a friend, if applicable a religious leader, a support group, etc.? Note, sympathetic to you doesn't necessarily mean they agree with your decisions, a friendly naysayer may help you examine your path, I mean that they aren't denigrating you personally. See what your therapist and/or medical professional think ahead of me or other online commenters!

I'm sadly reminded of a friend in engineering who went into a specific discipline they hated (they were fine with engineering, just their parents wanted them to be in the same field of engineering as them, which they hated), they sometimes spoke to me of their regrets in not choosing a different discipline, and they ended up having a breakdown and dropping out. If they had been more assertive or their parents less forceful, they'd have ended up being a happy engineer in a different field.

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